Her Gentle Soul
by dress her up in fairytales
Summary: Carlisle/Esme. I never thought I would see her again, but there she was, and I wanted to take her with me.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. I'm sure you know that. ;)

I never could forget her.

Her caramel hair cascaded in wonderful waves over her shoulders. She had wide brown eyes set in a gentle heart-shaped face with rosy cheeks. She was thin but not petite. Her blue dress was made of simple woven cotton and she wore white hosiery with black shoes. It was a country girl's outfit.

And the way she smelled! Lavender and vanilla—soothing and calming all over.

I introduced myself and inquired after the young girl's situation.

"I fell out of a tree," she said with vigor. Her smile was wide and she looked at me with mysterious look in her eyes. I had grown used to it—after all, how often did they run into someone of my kind?

I laughed. Her scent was overwhelming and the monster inside me growled to be free. I pushed it back down, stopping the flow of air to my nose. It was the only way. I had kept the monster down for hundreds of years. It would never win—I wouldn't let it.

Her parents stood off to the side. Her father's arms were crossed and her mother's hands were behind her back.

"How long is this going to take?" her father asked, his thick eyebrows furrowed.

I knew the trouble they had taken to get here. The town doctor was out. I was covering his shift and they had to take the family wagon to get here. It wasn't an easy track, I knew. The rain had made the roads muddy and not very easy for a horse-drawn wagon to go through. There was the possibility of wheels getting stuck or even the horses. Fortunately, for me, it brought clouds and coverage from the sun.

"Not very long, I assure you," I said politely. I turned back to Esme. "You must relax, or this will hurt more than it should."

Her face contorted into an odd grin but she nodded.

Apologizing for my cold hands, I set her leg, put a cast on it, and sent them away.

"Thank you!" she said, hopping off the small cot despite the cast. This small jump bounced her hair, sending her scent in my direction. I dared not breathe in quite yet. She left with the help of her mother.

Her father stayed behind. "How much will this cost me?"

"I will send the bill directly to your home," I said.

"Thank you, Doctor." He offered his hand.

I took his hand and shook it. "'Tis nothing."

I had disappeared so quickly after that. I told Esme to come back in a week, but I wouldn't be there. She had awakened parts in me I thought were dead—excuse the pun. Had I let the monster take over, Esme and her parents would have been dead in a heartbeat. But this monster was tucked away where it belonged. And it would stay there.

* * *

I _should_ have kept myself away, but I would have recognized her scent from miles away had it not been for her heartbeat. How sad it was that no one had claimed her. Those silly doctors thought she was dead, but I knew better—in both ways. I knew better than to take her home with me, but she was still alive, and I couldn't bear to see her go. What tiny belief I had left in God told me this was fate.

Edward took one look at her and was furious even though he didn't show it.

I laid her gently on the bed, watching her and fighting against my better judgment.

"Do it, Carlisle," Edward said through nearly gritted teeth.

"Edward, I—"

"You will not be happy unless you _do_," he said, turning to leave. "I'm going out."

I heard the front door shut quietly and waited a few seconds. Edward wasn't one to linger. I knew Esme had some time left. Debating with myself, I took a seat on a small couch in my office.

Her caramel hair was still a little matted and there was a small patch of dirt on her cheek. Her neck was bruised and a few of her ribs had been broken. I had carried her home gently, all the while contemplating what I was doing. She hadn't changed much—she was still beautiful but her figure had grown curvier as is a human's nature, changing from a young girl's to a young woman's.

"Oh, God," I said, clenching my fists. Was I crying out to God for help? Leaning towards her, I moved her hair away from her neck, looking for some place discreet. Her heartbeat was slowing down. I had to make my move because it would be easier then. "Forgive me," I said, not sure to whom—Esme or God.

And I sunk my teeth into her pale flesh.

Regret flashed across my mind as I felt the warmth of her blood across my tongue. It didn't take much venom for the change. Within minutes, her heartbeat slowed down even more. She tossed and turned, and for one second, I wished I knew what was going through her mind. What was she thinking? Or better yet, what had caused her to jump, as the doctors had said?

Minutes turned to hours. The venom was finally coursing thick in her veins, extracting all the blood, causing her heart to finally stop. And with every moment, I waited for her, not caring about my thirst.

Hours were days. It was fortunate enough though because I had the next few days off. The chief doctor claimed I had worked enough hours and he almost had to force me to take time off. When I smelled Esme, I was more than thankful for it.

Edward waited too, sitting next to me when he felt I needed him, and at the right moment, too.

"She's thinking of someone," he murmured slowly. I tried to imagine the words and images forming in his head. "A baby? No, that cannot be right." He stood still, looking at me. "She's waking up."

"Edward—" I began.

"I'll be out."

As much as I loved our companionship, I knew he sensed I needed to be alone—at least for the first few hours of her new life. My mind boggled with questions. How would she react? Edward had been calm and collected, and had accepted it so easily. But I knew everyone was different, even if I hadn't changed many before. I felt like a nervous wreck, very unlike my normal self. But then again, this was Esme—my sweet Esme I remembered from ten years ago.

I held my gaze to her face, waiting. Her hand was the first to move. Her thin delicate fingers grasped the curve of the couch. I didn't want to be one to hover when she first woke up and it took all my strength to stay pinned to my seat. Her legs moved slowly and her eyes finally flickered open.

She sat straight up, knocking a laced pillow to the floor. Her knees were together in a ladylike posture. Then her eyes met mine, but they were no longer brown like I remembered, but bright red—fierce and odd in her gentle face.

"Esme," I said slowly, "I—"

In new vampire speed, she was across the room, nearly knocking over a shelf of books. She was motionless with her hands to her side. I waited for her to react, to run out of the house and into the forest. Did she even recognize me?

_God, what have I done to her?_ Perhaps I was wrong for doing this. I sighed, pressing my fingers to my temple and lowering my gaze. I didn't want to scare her. When I looked up, she was in front of me. Her lips were slightly parted as if she wanted to say something.

"Carlisle," my name flowed from her lips.

I grinned, nodding. "Yes."

"I…" She bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

"I can explain everything to you. If you wish to leave after that, you are free to do so."

Slowly, she nodded, taking a seat.

* * *

Esme didn't leave. Inside, I was grateful. Within a few weeks of her transformation, she had mastered the hunt. Within a few months, she had made herself at home and accepted everything with more ease than even Edward. Despite all this, she was quiet and shy—very unlike the sixteen-year-old I had met before. I had to keep telling myself years had passed and people changed. Would she stay with us just a few months longer and then leave? I hoped not.

I learned, however, that she liked to sketch and sometimes, I went into town to buy her some art supplies. Esme accepted them with quiet gratitude. Leaving me with nothing more than a reserved smile or a quiet thank you, I wondered if she hated me, or resented Edward in some fashion. It was hard to tell though. When I was home, she was always in the same room with me and treated Edward kindly.

On a cloudy morning, Esme and I went to hunt. Edward wanted to be alone and I didn't want to leave Esme with him as I often had due to work. Although Esme hunted well, I was still afraid for her. Her crimson eyes were fading but they were not quite the topaz color I wished for.

Our pace was slow and steady at first. She walked aimlessly in front of me, wearing a lovely dress of pale yellow and light blue lace. The air was growing thick and it felt as it would rain soon. Perhaps it would be accompanied by thunder.

My mind was elsewhere. I didn't notice Esme was beside me until she spoke.

"I was rather disappointed when you weren't there a week later," she said softly.

She was speaking of ten years ago.

For some reason, I smiled. "I couldn't stay, you see. The longer I stay in one place, the older I have to make myself."

She nodded, understanding. "Yes, of course."

When Esme had asked me questions about myself or Edward, I didn't hesitate to tell her. Unfortunately, I knew nothing much about her, only that she had no family in town. _Perhaps it would be wise to move again…_

"In my head, I hoped you would come back. I tried to convince myself you had simply taken a vacation," Esme continued.

I turned to her, searching for an explanation. Could I tell her she was the reason I had left? "It was not easy to leave."

She looked at me and was silent again.

We walked faster this time, almost running, further and further into the forest. We were miles from town and I felt the muskiness in the air. The rain was waiting for something.

Slowing down, Esme took off her hat and unpinned her hair, letting it flow freely in the wind. I caught her scent again, breathing it in full force. She wasn't the one in danger now. With her still newborn strength, she was more dangerous than I.

The animals came easily—or rather we found them easily. A pair of deer flitted through the forest, near a stream to get a drink.

Although her hands weren't dirty, Esme washed them in the stream afterwards. I watched her curiously and all the while wondering, too. She looked at me and I gave her a smile as I walked over to her.

"Shall we return?" I asked. "It will rain soon."

"Where did you go?" she said in return. Certainly not the answer I was expecting.

"I went to Chicago."

"You found Edward?"

"Yes."

"I got married," she said, turning her eyes back to the water.

What did she want me to say? I didn't want to pry her for more information than she wanted to give.

"But he wasn't what I thought he was—or what I wanted him to be," she continued. "He went to fight in the war."

I sat down next to her, not close enough to touch, but enough to let her know I was there.

I remembered the war easily. It wasn't too long ago. I wasn't affected by the draft since I had found long and stable work and, fortunately, I made myself older than the draft's maximum age by just three years. Wounded and near dying soldiers had come home in small waves and they had spent months in the hospital before finally returning home.

"He came back though," she said, a tinge of regret in her voice. "He was nice…for a little while."

Her human memories were still strong, but eventually they would fade. I didn't want to tell her this because she would find out eventually.

"Esme, you don't—" I began.

Shaking her head, she said, "I know, but I want to. After all, you told me all about you. Is it not my turn?" Her lips curved into a small smile. "I became pregnant soon afterwards, but I ran away—from Columbus to Ashland. I had a baby boy, but he died a few days later."

Of course I wasn't unfamiliar with pregnancy. As a doctor I came across them, even making a few house calls, but losing a child was completely foreign to me. How was it for a mother who had kept the child so close to her for over nine months?

"That's why I jumped, you know. I… I didn't expect to wake up."

I lowered my head, frowning.

"Especially not to see you," Esme said.

I lifted my head to find her looking at me. "I am a selfish creature, Esme. 'Twas out of loneliness I created Edward."

"Why did you create me?"

Esme's eyes pierced into mine, boring down in the deepest and deadest parts of me, awakening sensations I hadn't felt since I was a human hundreds of years ago.

"I couldn't believe you were _here_ of all places—ten years later. They thought you were dead. I could not simply leave you there." My eyes flickered to our hands, now entwined together.

"I dreamt of you, knowing somehow it was impossible. That in some small part of Columbus you were married and had a family of your own." She looked at me and smiled sheepishly. "I was very wrong."

"It never occurred to me I would keep you wanting…" I said, fighting the urge to touch her.

Esme shook her head. "No, but _now_ I understand, in a sense, why you had to leave."

She was emotionally vulnerable right now. My ache for her was strong. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her I would do everything to keep her safe. She squeezed my hand, let go, and touched my cheek with the back of her hand. I didn't stop her.

Her fingers drifted over my eyes and nose. Her fingers trembled slightly as she touched my lips gently with the tips of her fingers, sending chills down my spine.

Thunder rumbled a few miles away.

"Carlisle." It was one of the few times she had said my name since she had been with Edward and me.

"Yes?"

"I want to stay with you…and Edward."

I grinned. "I could not see it any other way."

She smiled broadly, like the smile of her sixteen-year-old self—wide and showing teeth—but so much more mature.

"Esme?"

"Yes?"

"May I kiss you?"

She giggled—something I hadn't heard her do before. "Yes."

Her lips were soft and when my lips and hers touched, the dry ache in my throat had disappeared. My need was for her—only her. My hands tangled into her soft hair and our bodies moved closer to each other, somehow sensing a need—yearning—for each other. With all the strength I could muster, I pulled myself away from her.

Esme's eyes flickered open, staring directly into mine. "Are you all right?"

I traced the palm of her hand with my finger, looking down. "I want you, Esme—more than I have ever wanted anyone, but…"

She waited, and I wasn't sure what to say. But what? Was there even something to protest against?

There was a flash of lightning and a loud rumble of thunder. Rain fell lightly some hundred yards away. It would reach us soon.

Her hand cupped my chin and lifted it toward her face. I didn't have to move this time because she leaned towards me until our lips met again. The need for her was stronger now, exploding into a deeper passion. I pushed myself closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she put hers around my neck.

For more than two hundred years and even back to the twenty-three years of my human life, my want for a woman had never been strong—at least, I never let it since there weren't many of my kind, especially women. But here with Esme, it was as if it had concentrated into a ball and was coming out in waves. I was taking her with me.

* * *

"Carlisle?" her soft voice rang behind the door before it creaked open.

Esme stood with her feet together, her hand still on the door knob, wearing an elegant black dress that accentuated every curve of her body. She had just come back from a house-warming party thrown by one of the neighbors in town.

"I didn't hear you come in," I said, pushing myself away from my desk. I had been going through bills and paperwork from the hospital for hours.

She raised an eyebrow. "My, you _must_ be caught up in your work to not hear the door open." She looked behind her. "Where are the others?"

"Hunting," I replied simply.

Esme shut the door. "So the house is empty?"

"It would seem that way."

She was by my side in half a second. The black leather chair creaked against both our weight as she sat on my lap, crossing her legs, and kicking off her heels.

"Esme."

"What?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"The paperwork…" I trailed off. It was futile, I knew.

She flung her leg to the other side of my waist, the skirt of her dress rising to reveal the smoothness of her upper thigh. She was impossible!

I laughed as I leaned in to kiss her. My hand reached to her back, undoing the zipper. The dress slid from her body and in one easy motion, it was on the floor. To my surprise, she wasn't wearing a bra. Her hands went to work on my trousers and made quick use of the shirt I was wearing.

"Please, Carlisle," she almost whimpered.

By the end of it, my office chair was broken. Again.

"I'm sorry," she said, covering her bare self with my shirt.

We had gone through our fair share of office chairs, especially when the children were out of the house.

"Don't worry about it, love," I said, kissing the tip of her nose.

We leaned against the wall and she snuggled closer to me. My hand found hers and our fingers weaved into each other's.

"Did you have fun?" I asked, combing her hair with my free hand.

"Yes, but you weren't there. They asked about you. I said you had work to do."

I frowned. I didn't want to seem like the husband that was so common today—too busy with work that there wasn't enough time to spend with his wife or family.

Esme saw the frown and kissed my lips. "They don't know us too well, do they?"

We had been together for far longer than the others had been alive. No one could compare.

"No," I replied, "I suppose not."

**Author's note:** All right, so I struggled with the last part of this. I wanted to edit it out completely, but I didn't, lol. Please critique this! I would love you forever.


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